With mixed emotions...

....I head back to work on Wednesday, February 24th. It's hard to believe that Mackenzie will be 3 months old on the 24th and already time for me to leave her to head back to work. I am full of emotions over the thought of leaving her. I am feeling sad, guilty, scared, overwhelmed, worried and so much more.

I am so sad at the thought of leaving Mackenzie. I have enjoyed every minute of being at home with her (yes, even the lack of sleep or the fussy nights). I love picking her up in the morning and saying "good morning beautiful!" I love that she has the ability to make me melt with every smile. I love snuggling with her during the occasional nap. I love our conversations during feedings or when I am dressing her. I love seeing her so calm and relaxed during her baths. Yep, I pretty much love it all and it brings tears to my eyes to know that our time together will be limited now that I'll be back to work full time.

I feel guilty that I will be at work and missing out on her daily activities. I feel guilty that I'll miss some of her big milestones while I'm away from her for a majority of the day.

I am scared that she won't remember me. She has gotten so used to seeing me every time she wakes up and now I won't be there.

I feel overwhelmed. I am going to be pulled in so many different directions that I won't know which way to turn. I feel obligated to give 100% in everything I do and if I don't I feel like I am letting everyone down (especially myself). I am the type of person who feels the need to stay at work late until the job is done (which it never is). I feel like if I don't work late my superiors will look down on me or think that I'm slacking. However, I will feel even more guilty if I don't leave work on time every day as my #1 priority is my family.

I am worried that I won't be able to fit it all in...family, "me time," work, daily responsibilities (clean, groceries, dinner, etc.).

I have no doubt that Mackenzie will be well taken care of while I'm at work (since Andy will be home with her for his 12 weeks of FMLA). I also know that I am very lucky to have such a supportive and loving husband. Andy never ceases to amaze me in all he does for Mackenzie and I. We wouldn't be able to do it without him.

I just want to be the best....the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee that I can be. I hope I can manage it all.

Addition to the Horn Family

We just found out last night that my sister and her husband will be welcoming a baby boy, Carter, to the family in July 2010. Mackenzie will have a cousin to play with this summer! She will teach him all of her tricks!

Can't wait to meet my nephew!

Best Wishes from the Osika Family!!

SNOW DAY!

SNOW DAY!!

Well, we just had our second significant snow storm in the matter of one week. We had our first "Blizzard" on February 5th/6th with our second one yesterday into today. We probably accumulated at least 3 feet of snow between these two storms. Needless to say, Mommy and Daddy are ready for spring. Daddy is tired of shoveling and Mommy is feeling a little claustrophobic. But, we made the most of Daddy's snow day today and enjoyed our family time. Mommy even took some Valentine's Day pictures of me today.

Happy Mackenzie....PRICELESS

Mackenzie had been fussy for about a week at each feeding, which was very unlike her. She was always a very happy baby, even at feedings. After a visit with the pediatrician he ruled out reflux and decided she may have an allergy to cow milk protein found in most formulas. The pediatrician switched Mackenzie's formula from Similac Neosure to Similac Alimentum. The doctor said it would take 4-5 days for her to get readjusted and to call if nothing has changed after a week. Well, it's been three days and I wouldn't say Mackenzie is back to normal quite yet. At this point I would do anything to get my happy little girl back. It kills me to see her crying and upset.

Mackenzie's old formula=$15....Mackenzie's new formula=$25.....Mackenzie's Happiness=PRICELESS!!

Our Little Miracle....

GREAT news from the cardiologist yesterday!!! The hole in Mackenzie's heart is well on it's way to being completely closed. The doctor told us it generally takes about 9 months if it's going to close on it's own. Mackenzie is following in those foot steps. The good news meant no more follow up appointmnets! Hip Hip Hooray! No more worries about her tiny little heart.




Our little girl truly is a miracle. She has been a fighter from day one and continues to get bigger and stronger each and every day.



We love her to pieces!